It's my birthday! (probably up by the time this is written)

So I have been intending to blog ALL day but there have been so many surprises for my wonderful 17th birthday. To begin with, my best friend who just moved for college surprised me this morning. I am was almost in tears, I have missed her like crazy. It was the best surprise ever. On top of that loveliness all of my friends at church were super cool and gave me a card and made me feel special. lol. Also, I had an amazing dinner with my family; I haven't smiled this much in SO long. It felt really good to finally have a day where I haven't worried about anything, a day where I just knew that everything would turn out; a day to be me. So, I just wanted to fill you guys in on how awesome this birthday has been, and it has been the best.

And now we have finished Dear John and are having the crying conversations. lol. So this is the end of my seventeenth birthday, and I am sure that so much more will change before my next. (:

Cool beans.

I love having those friends that are there, but you have no clue how they even got there. No, that sentence made it sound like I was referring to aliens. o_o How can this be better put? I love when you have a friend that is always there to cheer up your day but somehow you don't even remember the day that you guys even began to speak to each other. That was a much better explanation!

Moving on, thanks to that friend (who won't even be able to identify themselves in this), I am one step closer to being back to normal. I guess most of my problem is that I was getting stuck in the, "Dude, 3 out of 4 of the people I have been closest to this year are not even living here anymore." I had such a hard time because I was thrown out of my element, one friend at a time. I am slowing recouping though haha.


Also, this song has made things a little better. haha.

Quick Update

I am really looking forward to P.Joe's new series called Spiritual Issues. I know it is going to be a tough one for me to hear when he starts out by saying, "You deserve to have peace and joy." Oh boy. I am guessing that I will have some interesting posts for the next few weeks, but until then you will have to bare with me not knowing how to express how I have been feeling recently.

Hopefully soon I will get out of this feeling of being "off". It is driving me insane. I know that it probably has a lot to do with the recent shift of events with my friends, but it makes it no easier. I am ready to be back to me. Blagh.

Please be patient with me. :D

Is your vision clear?

For those of you who do not have to put up with wearing pesky glasses, congratulations at succeeding with your vision.

Wearing glasses seems to be at the utmost annoyance for me lately. At the end of the day my glasses are so incredibly dirty, out of nowhere, and the light from every lamp, TV screen, and computer monitor seems to find the fingerprints and dirt better than a class A detective. The problem with this is that I get in that mode where I don't even want to move, let alone find the cleaning rag for my glasses. So, I spend the rest of my night dodging light so that I can see clearly. In case you didn't already pick up on it, it is an extreme nuisance.

Well, when I was cleaning them off to sit down and read before bed a lovely saying came to me.

"It's just a little difficult to see with the entire day's crap in front of my eyes."

This saying applies to more than just glasses. So many of us carry the "crap" from one day to another, stessing out. Be smart eh, take a rag and clean it up--let go.

Blagh.

Today is one of those days where it feels like everything is just a dream.
o_o
I hate it.

I feel as though I am missing something or as if I am not doing something I am suppose to. It is driving me insane--all of this thinking. I sure hope that tomorrow is much better feeling than today.

Today is the day...

Well, as I have informed you before, today is the day that my best friend is moving. After making the plan of not balling our eyes out, we broke off the plan and said goodbye. ):

I know already that things are going to change, but I also know that I won't even begin to realize the majority of the change until after a week or two. Oh joy.

Well, I just wanted to fill in the blog world about my interesting day/change in life. I am sure you will hear much more about this subject after a while though...

Somethings gotta give.

Lately I have been super exhausted with school and the business around me, and I have finally made the decision that I need to buckle down and just change some things. One of these things happen to be my sleeping habits. Usually, I get around 6 hours of sleep a night and then occasionally just crash on Saturday, however I have now decided to to go to bed earlier and wake up way earlier in order to get a better start on my day.

My new schedule of sleep? 11pm-6:30am. We will definitely have to wait and see how this turns out, but I figured it was worth a try! Also, I figured it was a big enough change for me that I had to fill in my blog world. lol.

Goodnight!

I trip and fall for no good reason at all.

"Never be afraid of what lurks in the dark....just turn on the light." -P.Joe

I am guilty of stumbling through the dark in order to find my way to my destination instead of simpling turning on the light. I mean this embarrassing confession in both the literal sense as well as the metaphorical.

For those who know me well tend to notice that I keep to myself on what is going on inside my brain. There are not many people I spill my guts to, and for the most part, that is okay. I have always been that person to figure things out without someone having to tell me what to do. However, the problem with that is that I have to force myself to ask for help when I need it. I become so accustomed to people coming to me with what is going on in their life, that I forget that I have to right to ask for help as well.

In the same way, when I get overwhelmed, I tend to just freak out on the inside instead of just going to the one person who knows everything that is going on. I know that all I will have to do to calm down is turn on some worship music, pray, and listen; yet I dance around the solution and stumble through my semi-depression spells. That I must say, is no fun at all, yet I do the same thing almost every time.

So here I am telling everyone that I am going to do my best to stop tripping and falling in the dark, and just rely on the Light--that's why it is there to begin with right? (:

I got a feeling..

No, I am not about to bust into song via my blog. ;)

I know that my posts recently have been all about change, but the truth is, I cannot help but write about anything else. SO MUCH is going to be changing soon. I feel like, I myself, will be changing a lot soon. Not only will the way I make decisions, but the way I view the world soon be different. I am not yet completely sure on why I feel a huge change is among us; I will let you know as soon as I know. :D

Ps: I will be another year older soon. Aside from that lovely matter, I all of a sudden feel as though I have grown so much--weird.

We need a change.

Everyone goes through something at some point, whether it be drugs, alcohol, self-confidence problems, whatever--we all go through it. The funny thing is, we hide these things we go through from everyone, including the people that are suppose to help us the most. The church is meant to be a comfort and outlet of love to people, yet most people "hide" their real lives from the church.

That ought to tell you something about the reputation of the church eh? Don't you think it is time we change that? Isn't it time to stand up and make a change the world around us? When are we going to stop the judging and cruelty and be the people, the Christians (followers of Christ) we were called to be?

I want to witness people running into the building and crying out for help. I want to see us reach out with love and just be the support that people need to get through life. I want to see--a change.

Change is in the air.

Yesterday I spent my day with the lovely Katrina(best friend). Upon out time together, we(her mom, her and I) went out of town to check out Kat's moving situation. And yes, it is less than two weeks away now. ):

Anyhow, I learned something. Even though she is moving, further than I would like, nothing has to change. I mean yes, adjustments have to be made, but friendship wise, nothing has to change. We will both make new friends, and both change a lot in the future, but just because she is moving doesn't mean that we have to stop being friends.

I like this thought. (:

Also, we will have many memories of checking out her apartment, "speeding" down the highway for her job interview, looking at furniture, being attacked by a killer heat wave, noticing how many cute guys live around her neighborhood, getting lost driving, etc. Love you Kat, and I cannot wait to see how many opportunities will be opened up to you through this move. (: