I'm slowly learning...

There are some things that really drive me crazy. For example, one of those things is that I am a seasonal friend in people's lives. What do I mean? I mean that no matter how hard I try, most people are only close to me (friendship-wise) for a short period of time.

I have made many friends in my day; yet there are very few who I am still close with. I have also realized that my friendship with the seasonal ones has been at rough moments in their life, and soon after they find their barrings, or turn down the truth, we lose touch.

THIS IS SAD FOR ME! It also doesn't help that I overly care for people in general, so every time I make a friend, losing them is difficult!

However, I was praying about some stuff last night, and I realized something. If at any time in any friendship I have made any difference for the good, then is not my pain worth it? Everyone has to sacrifice something at some point, so could this be my constant sacrifice for the greater good? Maybe, maybe not, but that is how I am going to look at it.

Believe me, viewing it as "maybe I was just suppose to be there to help them through something" beats just dwelling on how much I go through friends, any day.

Ps: No, this does not mean that after a certain amount of time I give someone the boot. lol. Also, this does not mean that I do not have best friends, it just means that I understand the fact that 90% will not be in that place next year--sadly.

Talk about seasonal friends and such.

It is so easy to get caught up in what is going on around me. I have a choice though; never let a situation fool you into thinking otherwise.

For as long as I can remember, I have been a seasonal person in people's life. No matter what, it seems like I can never keep the same friends very long. It is like they move on or something, I don't know. However, this is the first time that this transition has happened since I have decided to face my fears of people in general, and I can honestly say that it is not pleasant at all. No, I am not an emotional wreck, nor am I wallowing in self-pity, but nothing has gotten easier.

I really thought I was going to get away with keeping the same best friends for a while, but as of right now, things aren't looking too bright.



Aside from all of that mess, my best friend is moving next month, and I am going to be a mess without her. Here she is, sleeping in the chair next to me, and all I can think about right now is how things will be oh so different. I am determined though, her and I are NOT going to lose touch. Nope. I will bribe her with package-safe food if I have to. Haha. Yep. (: Dear Katrina, I love you and you are awesome.



This post is over with, I need sleep. Happy April 2nd!

New Step Forward

I realized something tonight(techinically last night): I care.

I guess I got so use to not attaching myself to people that I figured it would be easy to get up and walk whenever the time came to move into the next season of my life. However, after tonight, I realized that, that next season will be one of the hardest transitions yet. I actually care about my friends here; they are not just the people I give that title to, to be nice. I sincerely feel comfortable around them, and better yet, I feel loved.

So, to all of my awesome buds, you rock hard core, and thanks for being exactly what I needed right now. Love you guys!