This message still has my mind going crazy...

Wednesday was an interesting day. After being completely over-whelmed emotionally, and having an over-crowded mind, I sat through a message that I am thinking will change my life forever; it is titled Gender Identity(correct me if I am wrong P.Joe).

The question that was posed at the beginning was, "What does it mean to be a man or woman?". Automatically my brain is trying to race for an answer, when I realized, I had no clue. The world has come up with this distorted idea of what it means to be a man or woman.

Most every child grows up with an unrealistic idea about what perfection is in a person. For example, Barbie and G.I. Joe. Little did we all know that if either of these "icons" were really living, they would be so unattractive and un-proportioned that they would not even be able to function as normal people.

There is that lie that no matter what, we will never look good enough. The world will say that the way we look will NEVER be okay. These unrealistic heights are set in our minds and we will drive ourselves crazy trying to reach them.

I personally have struggled with "Well, when I look like this I will be happy." "When I look this way, I will believe it when someone calls me beautiful." (Please, no one leave a comment concerning this, because I didn't write it for someone to say something.) So I was in this mindset, and then of course, P. Joe pulled the following scripture:

Genesis 1:27
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

bum...Bum...BUUUMM...

Great, I have heard/read this scripture SO many times but never really thought about it. This scripture is saying that every part of me, whether I like it or not, was made in the image of God. That means that when I look down on me, I look down on Him--oh boy.

Okay, so now I know you are waiting on the answer to the question previously stated. "What does it mean to be a man or woman?" The truth is, it is being able to recognize the image of God in you. That means, it is looking past you and seeing what really matters, the God in us.

(:

Also, the crazy part of this is that Tuesday night when I was praying, God told me the following: "Breath easy my child. I have created you the way you are for great purpose and reason. Do not try and change what I have made. You look at things like they are difficult, but you are looking at you, not Me. Breathe easy my child." Isn't that just ironic!

Idle Motion (poem)

My heart is breaking,
For the ones who can't see past now.
They are muting their cries,
Their worship, not making a sound.
It's time to rise up,
And they are sitting on their hands.
Because of them and idle motion,
We are losing great people and lands.

Oh boy.

I have actually learned something from Algebra! Something I am actually going to use throughout my life!

We all know that life can toss some pretty intense problems at us. There is always that missing variable to finding the solution we need. Even though the answer is right there in front of us, all mingled and tangled in the problem, we tend to be completely blind to it. That is all true until we find the correct formula we are suppose to use.

I can try all day and night to get 2 - 2 to equal 4, but it isn't going to happen unless we use the right symbol. Until we change the equation and give it a plus sign, we will still be there trying to do the impossible by ourselves.

(:

I'm slowly learning...

There are some things that really drive me crazy. For example, one of those things is that I am a seasonal friend in people's lives. What do I mean? I mean that no matter how hard I try, most people are only close to me (friendship-wise) for a short period of time.

I have made many friends in my day; yet there are very few who I am still close with. I have also realized that my friendship with the seasonal ones has been at rough moments in their life, and soon after they find their barrings, or turn down the truth, we lose touch.

THIS IS SAD FOR ME! It also doesn't help that I overly care for people in general, so every time I make a friend, losing them is difficult!

However, I was praying about some stuff last night, and I realized something. If at any time in any friendship I have made any difference for the good, then is not my pain worth it? Everyone has to sacrifice something at some point, so could this be my constant sacrifice for the greater good? Maybe, maybe not, but that is how I am going to look at it.

Believe me, viewing it as "maybe I was just suppose to be there to help them through something" beats just dwelling on how much I go through friends, any day.

Ps: No, this does not mean that after a certain amount of time I give someone the boot. lol. Also, this does not mean that I do not have best friends, it just means that I understand the fact that 90% will not be in that place next year--sadly.

Pertaining to the previous post.

The previous post was one that was made at 2:20 AM when I was awoken by a thunderstorm outside. For those who don't know, I really don't care for loud noises, from fireworks to thunder. So, yes, I sat there for almost an hour terrified with my ears plugged. This is a confession of a childhood fear that never wore off.

(don't get me wrong, I love thunderstorms when they are quiet and during the day.)

I still have a childhood fear of loud thunder at night.

Sunshine, I am calling for a truce--maybe.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a "fun in the sun" kind of girl. Yes, I know it is quite ironic that I live in "the Sunshine State", but it changes nothing. I am the "let's pass out because I cannot take heat" kind of girl. However, I have spent the last two afternoons swimming, and honestly, I feel much better than I would otherwise. Hooray for that. The only thing I am not liking is the fact that my nose and lips are sunburned, but I guess it was bound to happen.

Next step: beachin' it. Hopefully my summer will be full of trips to the beach; even if it just means to read or walk. I want to soak up the sun, in the least literal way possible. (: